What exactly is a parent coordinator?
When I went back to law school in the early forties, I didn't go to law school because I had nothing to do at home.
I ended up practicing family law, administrative law and criminal law.
What is the parent format you ask? While it is tempting to provide a quick definition based on Florida's legislative vision of what it is supposed to be, the scathing criticisms that some authors have piled on demand a more in-depth response.
When I went back to law school in the early forties, I didn't go to law school because I had nothing to do at home. At the time, law school was one of the most competitive schools a young man could try, and changing life with family was an almost impossible task, and a whole host of responsibilities arose. I went to law school to study constitutional and environmental law. I ended up practicing family law, administrative law and criminal law.
The family court is an interesting place to practice law. This is where the most important people in our lives, our identity structure, are affected by every decision, every action and every failure to act. Kindness to your ex can be used against you, and agreeing to adjust the schedule for a special occasion can become a requirement to adjust it when and where necessary. It's a place where ancestors can become enemies, while significant others give world wars an inferiority complex.
Coordinating parenting in Florida was proposed several years before its final passage. The Legislature passed it, but then-governor Jeb Bush vetoed it. He believed that the original concept gave too much power to the parenting coordinator and not enough oversight from the court. The idea has been modified several times and there have been many reports and committees working together to try to find a good balance for parents, children, courts and the overall family structure, while preserving vital individual rights. It was signed by Governor Charlie Christ in 2009 and passed by the Florida Supreme Court in 2010.
Florida Legislation: 61.125 states: "The purpose of parenting coordination is to provide a child-cantered alternative dispute resolution process in which the parenting coordinator assists parents in creating or implementing a parenting plan by facilitating the resolution of conflicts between parents by providing education, recommendations and, with prior consent from the parents and the court, to make decisions that are limited within the framework of the court's referral order." The law states that if there is a stipulation or order pursuant to which a parenting plan is made, parents may request, or the court may appoint, a paternity coordinator to assist parents in resolving disputes related to that parenting plan.
Well... in English. If the court has ordered or approved a parenting plan and the parents do not appear to be working together to implement that plan, the court may appoint a parenting coordinator to assist them. The court empowers the paternity coordinator to use many different resources to help parents. The key words here are "court orders or adopt a parenting plan".
Parenting is a very difficult task. It is perhaps one of the most difficult things we do in our lives. When two people work together to raise children, we have to face challenges with a united front, or at least try. What happens when we can't do that? What happens when we decide to split up and try to raise kids together... apart? What happens to grandparents? Who takes the children to school? Who goes home from work when the kids are sick? What happens when we meet someone else and share with the children?
All these questions can lead to stress and tension even in the most amicable breakup. No one starts out thinking that they will fight for 18 years for every child. But unfortunately it happens. It happens to good people who mean good will, who try to do their best and care for the children they love. It happens to people who have been ordered by a court to do things with their children that they don't want.
For years, the legal system has tried to work with parents to devise solutions that are in the best interests of children. The court does its best with the information it receives. Unfortunately, this information is limited by the time, quality and/or presence of the lawyers and the person sitting on the platform. Over the last 30 years, mediation has come a long way to help parents and courts find more personal solutions for the individual family. For most parents, this system works.
Then there are the parents who just can't work together. Those who return to court again and again with disagreements about children, their new significant other, grandparents, choosing custody, when to take time off, and hundreds of other questions arise every day. This is where coordination between parents comes in.
Parental coordination is a child-cantered approach that means working with parents to break patterns, find solutions, and try to improve communication between two people in a child-cantered focus. Modern courts are not equipped to solve problems that arise quickly, so battles go on, sometimes for months, and children and parents get stuck in a pattern that keeps repeating itself. Keep in mind that while all matches are in progress, there is a court order. It is not a "legal offer" and can create new problems for parents and children.
In Florida, parenting coordinators must be trained in psychology, psychiatry, or law. * They should be familiar with family dynamics in family law settings, including domestic violence, and child abuse issues, and should be trained in family mediation. They must be able to work with families of all backgrounds. They must have thick skin, and they must be willing to use all the tools the courts and legislature have given them to help parents find methods, ideas, and programs that put children's needs first. They must be able to use their experience and knowledge of the system, family law procedures and real issues that deal with the intense personal situations that parents and children face. They must be able to think outside the box of traditional treatments that will never work for a certain group of people.
Parental coordination is not available to everyone. First, the court must make a decision that the parents can afford. Unlike some articles written on the subject, prices are often set by the court, and the court, not parents, decides how the costs are shared. Parental coordination can last for weeks, months, or years depending on the parents' ability to comply with court orders. The court can review the process periodically, and the parties always have access to their attorney. Conventional treatments are available to fathers and a paternity coordinator, and the judge retains jurisdiction over the case at all times. A court order defines what a parenting coordinator can and cannot do, and the legislator has set strict standards that must be followed. Confidentiality is strictly enforced except in specific cases stipulated by law.
The court usually orders parent-to-parent coordination after several disputes and many appearances lead to further disagreements. Parents can also proactively ask a parenting coordinator to help them if the disagreement in the relationship becomes too difficult or if they find themselves going back to court multiple times due to problems, no They can solve it on their own.
Parental coordination is a process. It's not mediation where you go once or twice, sign an agreement and move on - but mediation is a tool that can be used. It is not subject to arbitration because a real judge has already heard cases several times and issued an order - although arbitration techniques are tools that can be used. It's not a facilitation - although many supportive people such as doctors, extended families, and counsellors can be brought in to share ideas and develop personalized solutions. It's not psychology - although understanding psychology and family dynamics is an important piece of the puzzle. This is not the law - however, a parenting coordinator must have a working knowledge of the law and procedures to help participants comply with a court order, or direct them to seek an attorney when necessary. Parenting coordinators should not work as judges, lawyers, psychologists, or therapists, but they should be able to see the whole picture from these perspectives. While doing all of this, they must remain impartial and be prepared to take the necessary steps to help children, courts, and parents move forward with the process.
It is not a program for the faint of heart or for beginners. The legislature and the courts have established strict and detailed professional requirements and codes of conduct and are strictly enforced to protect parents and parenting coordinators.
Parental coordination can be extremely beneficial for all involved. There is no greater outcome than finding a way to each individual's ability to work together to successfully raise children and to provide those children with loving relationships with both parents where possible.
A warning to those reading this article. There has been great criticism of the parents' coordination efforts and violence in the home. Domestic violence comes in many forms. It's not always obvious or physical, and not something to be taken lightly. Parenting coordinators are trained in domestic violence, and often when domestic violence is a significant factor in a relationship, parenting coordination is not recommended. To recommend a domestic violence case to a parenting coordinator, courts must make specific findings and obtain informed consent from all parties. There will be other articles on this site dealing with domestic violence, but it should be noted that in most cases the courts cannot refer a case if domestic violence is ongoing.
CONCLUSION
Parenting coordinators are trained in domestic violence, and often when domestic violence is a significant factor in a relationship, parenting coordination is not recommended. To recommend a domestic violence case to a parenting coordinator, courts must make specific findings and obtain informed consent from all parties. There will be other articles on this site dealing with domestic violence, but it should be noted that in most cases the courts cannot refer a case if domestic violence is ongoing.
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