Three basic parenting styles
Parenting is something that usually comes naturally to people. There are no hard and fast manuals or rules for parenting. People usually learn as they go. Most things are second nature, like feeding, clothing and generally taking care of the baby. However, as the child grows and other children are born, the parent becomes more than just meeting the child's daily needs. Sometimes parents feel they need some help deciding the best way to raise their children.
There are many people who talk about parenting and offer advice and support to parents in need. Parenting styles are examples of things parents can do to help them with their parenting. A parenting style is basically a way of describing how parents parent their child or children. There are 3 basic types of parenting styles.
Some authorities on parenting would argue that there are many variations of parenting styles, but they go back to three basic parenting styles. These three styles are authoritarian, permissive and democratic.
Authoritarian parenting style is based on control. With this style of parenting, the parent always maintains complete control. There are strict rules and schedules under this style of parenting. Parents rule children with an iron fist. There are no exceptions to the rule and punishments are meted out very systematically and quickly if necessary. The downside of the authoritarian parenting style is that it usually doesn't allow for much affection or warmth. Because children raised with this parenting style are usually not allowed to think independently or make their own decisions, they often have trouble thinking for themselves as adults.
Permissive parenting style is the opposite of authoritarian parenting style. Allows the parent to take control of the child. Usually there aren't many rules and the rules that are made are often very loose. Broken rules are often not recognized or even enforced.
Parents using this parenting style believe that their children should be independent thinkers and be able to explore the world and learn for themselves without being bound by rules and rigid structures. This parenting style is often accompanied by lots of affection and warmth. The downside though is that kids don't learn that rules are sometimes necessary. They learn that no matter what they do - right or wrong - they will not be punished. It may rebel against rule or structure throughout its life.
Democratic parenting style is a blend of authoritarian and permissive parenting styles. A democratic parent will set necessary rules and enforce them, but they will take each situation as it comes. Punishment is usually discussed with the child.
Democratic parents are most interested in making sure their children understand why rules are in place and why certain behaviors are unacceptable. Democratic parenting is about telling children when they are doing good and when they are doing bad, making sure they understand why it is wrong. It is a parenting style where everyone - parent and child - works together Children will usually grow up to respect their parents and be able to handle conflicts and problems in an appropriate manner.
Each parenting style has its advantages and disadvantages. Obviously, children with an authoritarian parenting style will be very respectful and very well behaved. There will be much less chaos between parents and their stress levels will be lower. Parents with a permissive parenting style are free to do whatever they want because they are not constantly policing the children.
The family just does its thing, which can often lead to a lot of isolation over time as everyone develops their own lives separate from the family. Democratic parenting in style requires a lot of work. Parents must constantly talk and communicate with their children to include everyone in the family.
No one ever claimed parenting was easy. There really is no right or wrong for parenting as long as the kids are taken care of, happy and healthy. Parents can choose how they want to raise their children. Some parents simply fall into a parenting style that seems to fit their own lives and their own beliefs. Others make a conscious effort to keep up with the parenting style. However, parents choose their parenting style, as long as it works for them and their children are taken care of, that's fine.
CONCLUSION
Parents using this parenting style believe that their children should be independent thinkers and be able to explore the world and learn for themselves without being bound by rules and rigid structures. Democratic parenting style is a blend of authoritarian and permissive parenting styles. It is a parenting style where everyone - parent and child - works together Children will usually grow up to respect their parents and be able to handle conflicts and problems in an appropriate manner.
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FAQ
What are the three parenting strategies?Parenting strategies are the approaches caregivers use to raise, guide, and support their children. While there are many methods out there, most experts agree that three core parenting strategies stand out: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive parenting.
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Authoritative ParentingThis strategy is widely considered the most effective and balanced. Authoritative parents set clear expectations and boundaries but also show warmth, responsiveness, and support. They encourage open communication, listen to their child's needs, and use discipline as a teaching tool rather than punishment. Children raised with this style tend to be confident, responsible, and socially skilled.
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Authoritarian ParentingAuthoritarian parents are strict, often emphasizing obedience and discipline over flexibility. They enforce rules without much input from the child and may use harsh consequences. While this can lead to well-behaved children, it may also result in lower self-esteem, anxiety, or resentment due to the lack of emotional connection and autonomy.
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Permissive ParentingPermissive parents are lenient and nurturing, often avoiding confrontation and allowing children to set their own rules. While this style fosters creativity and freedom, it may also lead to issues with discipline, self-control, and respect for authority.
Each strategy has its effects, and successful parenting often involves a balance based on the child's personality and family values.
Diana Baumrind, a renowned developmental psychologist, identified three primary parenting styles in the 1960s based on her research on preschool-aged children. Her work became foundational in understanding how different parenting approaches influence child development. The three parenting styles she defined are: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive.
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Authoritative ParentingThis style is considered the most balanced and effective. Authoritative parents are both responsive and demanding. They set clear rules and expectations but are also nurturing and open to dialogue. These parents encourage independence while maintaining limits. Children raised in this style tend to be confident, socially competent, and responsible.
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Authoritarian ParentingAuthoritarian parents are highly demanding but not responsive. They enforce strict rules, expect obedience, and often use punishment over discussion. There’s little room for flexibility or input from the child. This style may result in well-behaved kids in the short term but can lead to lower self-esteem, anxiety, and rebellion over time.
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Permissive ParentingPermissive parents are responsive but not demanding. They are indulgent and avoid setting firm boundaries. While they are loving and communicative, their lack of discipline and structure can lead to behavioral issues, poor self-regulation, and academic struggles in children.
Baumrind’s framework continues to influence parenting research and practices today.
The three R’s of parenting—Respect, Responsibility, and Resilience—are core principles that help guide positive child development and strengthen the parent-child relationship. These values serve as a foundation for raising confident, capable, and emotionally healthy children.
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RespectRespect begins with modeling. When parents treat their children with respect—listening to their opinions, acknowledging their feelings, and setting boundaries with kindness—children learn to do the same. Respect fosters trust, open communication, and emotional safety in the home.
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ResponsibilityTeaching children responsibility helps them develop independence and accountability. This includes assigning age-appropriate tasks, encouraging them to follow through on commitments, and allowing natural consequences to unfold. When children learn to take responsibility for their actions, they grow into dependable and self-reliant individuals.
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ResilienceResilience is the ability to bounce back from challenges. Parents can nurture resilience by supporting their child through difficulties without always “fixing” the problem. Encouraging problem-solving, praising effort over perfection, and being emotionally available helps children develop grit and emotional strength.
Together, the three R’s create a positive parenting approach that promotes long-term growth, character development, and a stronger bond between parent and child.
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