How What Exactly Is a Parenting Coordinator?

What exactly is a parenting coordinator?

What is parenting coordination, you ask? While it is tempting to give a quick definition based on the Florida legal perspective that is assumed, some authors have observed that a more in-depth answer is required.

When I returned to law school in my early forties, I wasn't going to law school because I had nothing to do at home. At the time, law school was one of the most competitive schools a young person could try, and juggling life with a family and a full set of adult responsibilities was an almost impossible task. I went to law school to study constitutional and environmental law. I have completed the practice of family, administrative and criminal law.

Family Court is an attractive place to practice law. This is where the most important people in our lives, the fabric of who we are, are affected by every decision, every act and every failure to act. Pity for your ex can be used against you and an agreement to change the schedule for a certain occasion can turn into a demand to modify it whenever and wherever. It's a place where grandparents can become enemies and significant others give World War II an inferiority complex.

Parenting coordination in Florida was proposed several years before its final enactment. It was passed by the legislature, but then-governor Jeb Bush vetoed it. They believed the original concept gave too much power to the parenting coordinator and not enough court oversight. The concept has been revised several times, and several reports and committees are working together to try to find a good balance for parents, children, courts and the overall family structure while protecting important individual rights. It was signed into law by Governor Charlie Crist in 2009 and adopted by the Florida Supreme Court in 2010.

Florida Statutes: 61.125 states: "The purpose of parenting coordination is to provide a child-centered alternative dispute resolution process, thereby facilitating the resolution of conflicts between parents by providing a parenting coordinator education and parenting plan." Assists parents in creating or implementing, recommending, and, with the prior consent of the parent and the court, making limited decisions within the scope of the court's referral order.” The statute clarifies that where there is a judgment or order establishing a parenting plan, the parents are a parenting co. -Coordinator may be requested, or appointed by the court, to assist the parent in resolving disputes related to that parenting plan.

Well... in English. If the court orders or adopts a parenting plan, and the parents cannot work together to implement that plan, the court may appoint a parenting coordinator to help them. Courts empower parenting coordinators to use a variety of resources to assist parents. The key words here are "adopting a court order or parenting plan."

Parenting is a tough job. Perhaps one of the most difficult things we do in our lives. When two people are working together to raise a child, we must meet the challenge with a united front, or at least try to. What happens when we can't? What happens when we decide to split up and try to raise kids together... separately? What about the grandparents? Who takes the children to school? Who goes home from work when the kids are sick? What happens when we meet someone else and they get involved with kids?

All of these questions can cause tension and stress in even the most amicable breakup. No one begins to believe that they will fight for every child for 18 years. But, unfortunately it happens. It happens to good people who think well, and who do their best to take care of the children they love. Happens to people who have been ordered by the court to do things they don't want to do with their children

Over the years, the court system has tried to work with parents to fashion solutions in the best interests of children. The court does its best with the information provided. Unfortunately, that information is limited by the time, quality and/or presence of attorneys and the person sitting on the bench. Mediation has come a long way over the past 30 years to help parents and courts reach more personalized solutions for individual families. This system works for most parents.

Then there are the parents who just can't seem to get things together. Those who return to court time and time again with disputes over children, new significant others, grandparents, daycare options, when to take vacation, and the hundreds of other issues that come up every day. This is where parenting coordination comes in handy.

What exactly is a parenting coordinator?

What is parenting coordination, you ask? While it is tempting to give a quick definition based on the Florida legal perspective that is assumed, some authors have observed that a more in-depth answer is required.

When I returned to law school in my early forties, I wasn't going to law school because I had nothing to do at home. At the time, law school was one of the most competitive schools a young person could try, and juggling life with a family and a full set of adult responsibilities was an almost impossible task. I went to law school to study constitutional and environmental law. I have completed the practice of family, administrative and criminal law.

Family Court is an attractive place to practice law. This is where the most important people in our lives, the fabric of who we are, are affected by every decision, every act and every failure to act. Pity for your ex can be used against you and an agreement to change the schedule for a certain occasion can turn into a demand to modify it whenever and wherever. It's a place where grandparents can become enemies and significant others give World War II an inferiority complex.

Parenting coordination in Florida was proposed several years before its final enactment. It was passed by the legislature, but then-governor Jeb Bush vetoed it. They believed the original concept gave too much power to the parenting coordinator and not enough court oversight. The concept has been revised several times, and several reports and committees are working together to try to find a good balance for parents, children, courts and the overall family structure while protecting important individual rights. It was signed into law by Governor Charlie Crist in 2009 and adopted by the Florida Supreme Court in 2010.

Florida Statutes: 61.125 states: "The purpose of parenting coordination is to provide a child-centered alternative dispute resolution process, thereby facilitating the resolution of conflicts between parents by providing a parenting coordinator education and parenting plan." Assists parents in creating or implementing, recommending, and, with the prior consent of the parent and the court, making limited decisions within the scope of the court's referral order.” The statute clarifies that where there is a judgment or order establishing a parenting plan, the parents are a parenting co. -Coordinator may be requested, or appointed by the court, to assist the parent in resolving disputes related to that parenting plan.

Well... in English. If the court orders or adopts a parenting plan, and the parents cannot work together to implement that plan, the court may appoint a parenting coordinator to help them. Courts empower parenting coordinators to use a variety of resources to assist parents. The key words here are "adopting a court order or parenting plan."

Parenting is a tough job. Perhaps one of the most difficult things we do in our lives. When two people are working together to raise a child, we must meet the challenge with a united front, or at least try to. What happens when we can't? What happens when we decide to split up and try to raise kids together... separately? What about the grandparents? Who takes the children to school? Who goes home from work when the kids are sick? What happens when we meet someone else and they get involved with kids?

All of these questions can cause tension and stress in even the most amicable breakup. No one begins to believe that they will fight for every child for 18 years. But, unfortunately it happens. It happens to good people who think well, and who do their best to take care of the children they love. Happens to people who have been ordered by the court to do things they don't want to do with their children

Over the years, the court system has tried to work with parents to fashion solutions in the best interests of children. The court does its best with the information provided. Unfortunately, that information is limited by the time, quality and/or presence of attorneys and the person sitting on the bench. Mediation has come a long way over the past 30 years to help parents and courts reach more personalized solutions for individual families. This system works for most parents.

Then there are the parents who just can't seem to get things together. Those who return to court time and time again with disputes over children, new significant others, grandparents, daycare options, when to take vacation, and the hundreds of other issues that come up every day. This is where parenting coordination comes in handy.

A warning to anyone reading this article. There has been much criticism of parent-child coordination efforts and domestic violence. Domestic violence comes in many forms. It's not always obvious or physical, and it's not something to be taken lightly. Parenting coordinators receive training in domestic violence, and in most cases, where domestic violence is a significant factor in the relationship, parenting coordination is not recommended. 

Courts should make specific inquiries and obtain informed consent from all parties to recommend a parenting coordinator in a domestic violence case. There will be other articles on domestic violence on this site, but it should be noted that if domestic violence is ongoing the court cannot refer the case in most circumstances. 

CONCLUSION

Parenting coordinators receive training in domestic violence, and in most cases, where domestic violence is a significant factor in the relationship, parenting coordination is not recommended. Courts should make specific inquiries and obtain informed consent from all parties to recommend a parenting coordinator in a domestic violence case. There will be other articles on domestic violence on this site, but it should be noted that if domestic violence is ongoing the court cannot refer the case in most circumstances.

Best Three basic parenting styles

Three basic parenting styles

Parenting is something that usually comes naturally to people. There are no hard and fast manuals or rules for parenting. People usually learn as they go. Most things are second nature, like feeding, clothing and generally taking care of the baby. However, as the child grows and other children are born, the parent becomes more than just meeting the child's daily needs. Sometimes parents feel they need some help deciding the best way to raise their children.

There are many people who talk about parenting and offer advice and support to parents in need. Parenting styles are examples of things parents can do to help them with their parenting. A parenting style is basically a way of describing how parents parent their child or children. There are 3 basic types of parenting styles.

Some authorities on parenting would argue that there are many variations of parenting styles, but they go back to three basic parenting styles. These three styles are authoritarian, permissive and democratic.

Authoritarian parenting style is based on control. With this style of parenting, the parent always maintains complete control. There are strict rules and schedules under this style of parenting. Parents rule children with an iron fist. There are no exceptions to the rule and punishments are meted out very systematically and quickly if necessary. The downside of the authoritarian parenting style is that it usually doesn't allow for much affection or warmth. Because children raised with this parenting style are usually not allowed to think independently or make their own decisions, they often have trouble thinking for themselves as adults.

Permissive parenting style is the opposite of authoritarian parenting style. Allows the parent to take control of the child. Usually there aren't many rules and the rules that are made are often very loose. Broken rules are often not recognized or even enforced. 

Parents using this parenting style believe that their children should be independent thinkers and be able to explore the world and learn for themselves without being bound by rules and rigid structures. This parenting style is often accompanied by lots of affection and warmth. The downside though is that kids don't learn that rules are sometimes necessary. They learn that no matter what they do - right or wrong - they will not be punished. It may rebel against rule or structure throughout its life.

Democratic parenting style is a blend of authoritarian and permissive parenting styles. A democratic parent will set necessary rules and enforce them, but they will take each situation as it comes. Punishment is usually discussed with the child. 

Democratic parents are most interested in making sure their children understand why rules are in place and why certain behaviors are unacceptable. Democratic parenting is about telling children when they are doing good and when they are doing bad, making sure they understand why it is wrong. It is a parenting style where everyone - parent and child - works together Children will usually grow up to respect their parents and be able to handle conflicts and problems in an appropriate manner.

Each parenting style has its advantages and disadvantages. Obviously, children with an authoritarian parenting style will be very respectful and very well behaved. There will be much less chaos between parents and their stress levels will be lower. Parents with a permissive parenting style are free to do whatever they want because they are not constantly policing the children. 

The family just does its thing, which can often lead to a lot of isolation over time as everyone develops their own lives separate from the family. Democratic parenting in style requires a lot of work. Parents must constantly talk and communicate with their children to include everyone in the family.

No one ever claimed parenting was easy. There really is no right or wrong for parenting as long as the kids are taken care of, happy and healthy. Parents can choose how they want to raise their children. Some parents simply fall into a parenting style that seems to fit their own lives and their own beliefs. Others make a conscious effort to keep up with the parenting style. However, parents choose their parenting style, as long as it works for them and their children are taken care of, that's fine.

CONCLUSION

Parents using this parenting style believe that their children should be independent thinkers and be able to explore the world and learn for themselves without being bound by rules and rigid structures. Democratic parenting style is a blend of authoritarian and permissive parenting styles. It is a parenting style where everyone - parent and child - works together Children will usually grow up to respect their parents and be able to handle conflicts and problems in an appropriate manner.